Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Uuuuugggggghhhhhh

That is the sound I made as I tried to slip this body trimming thingy over my body-meat.  It was almost painful as I squeezed it over my shoulders and tried to get it past the little rolls on my back.  After struggling to get it untucked and pulled down over my belly, I had to laugh because again I realized, you get what you pay for.  I've been eyeing this body trimming thingy ever since Christmas and I finally needed it and so I bought it.  Well, I'm sitting here with it on, after having to hoist and push my "girls" into the underwire bra thingy like I was hiding them from the titty bandits.  Believe it or not, with all of this discomfort, the thing isn't even hiding what I bought it to hide.  My poochie belly is still sticking out proudly as if to be saying, "Humph, you thought you could smother me and make me go away; not going to happen. 

I don't even want to talk about the outfit that I bought.  I visited the store I used to shop at when I was still wearing a 5/6 because I knew that it would fit my budget.  The visit must have taken me all the way back in time because for some strange reason, I thought I could fit into a size medium pair of leggings and a medium dress thingy.  They both are made out of stretchy material, but guess what, neither of them gave as I pulled and twisted my way into them.  I told you how much I despise shopping for clothes and I'm sure that little cashier was just being polite when she said, "You're barely big as a minute."   People used to say that to me back in the day and it most certainly was true, but now, how dare they patronize me. 

Well the hours are slipping away and I still don't have an outfit for this evening and I have yet to finish that poem.  I guess I better gone and get off of my blog and handle my business.  Until next time..."Live your life by loving yourself."