Sometimes I Wonder

Before I begin, let me say that I am not in no way saying this to get book sells, T-shirt sells, craft sells, or any kind of sale for that matter.  I am merely posing this question to the universe, because only it holds the answer.  Perhaps when I go to sleep tonight, I'll dream the answer in my sleep.  Anyway, I just wanna know why I'm not good enough for people to spend their hard earned money on.  That includes most family and "friends," and they're the ones who know my struggle, who sit on the sidelines and cheer half-heartily for me to win.  I've been on my road to success for a long time, too long to even think back on when it all first started. 

All I know is people spend their money on what they want and that's okay with me, I just wanna know why they don't support what I'm doing?  If you don't have any core supporters on your team, then it just makes getting there, that much harder.  Again, let me stress that this is just a "get this off my chest moment" and I'm not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me or throw me out a charity dollar.  I'm just asking a question on my blog, you know?  I know times are tough for everyone, but I also know that there were a lot of people who had a very Merry Christmas, thanks to Black Friday and Cyberspace Monday.  I marketed my goods since I am an entrepreneur too.  Most of the people who tweeted or facebooked the deals they got, saw my advertisements as well.  I only have a few items, you know, my book and my t-shirts, and if they bought something, just once, I wouldn't be writing about this subject.  It's not like I'm gonna keep asking them to buy the same product over and over again.  One purchase of my book, one T-shirt; one, anything. 

Support is so essential for someone who has hopes and dreams of making a difference in the world.  How can they do it alone?  They can't.  Even though they don't have the support of all who are close to them, each supporter who does step up, holds a special place in their heart, as well as in line for the "great hand-out."  The joke that I secretly tell myself, is, the very people who aren't supporting me now, bet not even dare stand in my soup kitchen line when I get it started.  Oh, yeah, I have grand plans ahead.  Every dog has his day, and the Good Book does say something about the first being last and the last being first.  I think I'm well on my way to the front of the line.  Not sure when it's gonna happen, but one day I'm gonna wake up and this life of struggling is gonna be all over and I won't be walking on the streets of gold either.  I'll be climbing out of my futon bed that I really need to get rid of, open my front room blinds, look out at the bright sunshine, sit down at my computer and check my emails and within one of the ones that isn't actually junk, will be an invitation from some influential person who recognizes the gift that I am and want to help cultivate me into my new world of success.  Yep, that's exactly how it's gonna happen; I just know it.  It's not long now.  I can feel it.

Let this blog post be my witness that I am calling into existence, my success, TODAY.  I'm ready for it, I think.  At least I think I'm ready, if not, I know it won't come just yet, but Lawd knows, I'm in a position to accept my new life simply because I feel I deserve it, if no one else does.  Anywho, it's getting late and I still have a few things I need to do before I jump in my, comfortable for now, futon.  There are people sleeping in cardboard boxes, and steel beds thanks to the Criminal Justice system.  So things could be a whole lot worse, but I know they could be a whole lot better, too.  Until next time..."Live your life by loving yourself."